How to get out in the relationship that you are no longer happy.

Good day everyone around the world , just little story of my life. I become a widowed in 2015 my husband died due to esophageal rupture he is nurse , We’ve been married 9 year and supposed to be have a 10 years anniversary in October 25, 2016. but unfortunately he passed away October 30, 2015. its shock me he is very good provider husband, I love him so much we have a son who is now 11 years old. Time pass I’ve meet a guy from my work his name is Wayne never know about Wayne until i found out he is an alcoholic. i try to rehab him but he want only one month. so he get out after one month but the doctor said to him , if he will be back in drinking it will not take two years he will dead.

So we visit the country that i was born, and stay there a little bit longer like 7 month. first month that we have he is so happy and then suddenly he is drinking again after that he wake up and drink beer until the whole day , everyday drinking beer . And I’m become tired to understand everything I let him go back here in Maryville, Washington . he don’t have any place to live so i ask my sister to let him stay there and pay a little rent for him to stay , my sister and her husband agree in the month of April 2017 my father passed away at the age of 93 so my sister and her husband go home together with Wayne. Still drinking beer 20 days after my father’s death, Wayne passed away in my house in the PI i don’t know what happen so i ask for autopsy the result , he have a heart Inlargement spleen become big and the kidneys are swelling. I bring his ashes here in America his last request are to be scattered his ashes in snohomish river so i give his ashes to his brother. Grieving and letting go everything so that my heart will be free from burden of what happen in my life .

And then unexpected i met this guy who is older 16 years to me I taught i find the right one but not , my goodness gracious. I am an independent woman i don’t depend anything to the man i can change the the toilet bowl and paint at the same time take care of my 11 years old son. my husband leave me a nice life so i don’t work so that i will take care of my son. now we are 3 years living together but I’m not happy he work in Alaska but he is on retirement stage so once in a while in a year he go in Alaska and work for 2 to 3 months. I want to get out in this relationship and i don’t know how i just want to be free. We have a house in PI but the whole house i build is from my late husband money not from him . I hope someday i will be free, free without hurting anybody, free to FREEDOM.

Thank you for reading God bless you and your family . God is watching us.

My Dog shadow.

In 2016 i get a golden retriever puppy in a local store in our place, he is 3 months old male , when i get shadow i have boyfriend who have also a dog name jeager. On that time jeager is already 8 years old when i met Wayne. So when shadow meet Wayne it doesn’t look good , He don’t like shadow the moment shadow move , run, and play Wayne will be mad . He will beat shadow i felt so bad and he is my first golden retriever dog and i love him so much , So we have a fight i have to defend my dog . But Jeager and shadow love each other shadow grow up as like that until i decide to let Wayne go back in america so that he can continue his disability . he leave jeager to me, shadow is very loving dog he doesn’t mind about Wayne beat him . he is a very good spirit playful running around the house playing with me , sleeping with me in bed . He grow really fast so big always want me to cuddle him. until i bought a another place and build my own home for me , for my family and my fur family.

I leave shadow , jeager my two cats max and murph in the other house that i live before . while building my new home its really hurt me that i need to leave them there . so when my house 90% done we transfer there right away together with two cats and jeager. left shadow and my other dogs kibs in the othere house i felt bad cause i cannot bring them yet in our new house cause we dont have fence . I never taught they will be a tragedy that happen when i leave them there my nephew always bring food to them in the other house. i always ask how are they doing in the other house my nephew said kibs and shadow are losing weight so i go there to check them if they are okay but when i see them i was heart broken i didn’t expect to see them like that skinny i was crying my two years old shadow become so skinny . before that he was to big he food that really fit for a golden retriever. i did not notice that the house that we live before was infected with fleas and tick that hit shadow and kibs. i was so guilty until now it make me cry , that i did not take care well of my handsome and cute shadow. until one day when my nephew bring food to them when he come he told me that shadow was really sick he just lying down while eating . i didn’t say a word i know there will be something happen , then when i go and check them again. My shadow is not moving anymore i try to call and touch him but he is not moving he passed away . I cry really hard i know its my fault i neglect him I have this guilty feeling , regrets and asking shadow to forgive me for what I’ve done to him. and i promise to him if ever I’m gonna have another golden retriever i will take care him . its really hurt one week prior to his passing my other dog Kibs also passed away because of tick and fleas. Since the house infected with fleas and tick we spray the whole house to get rid of tick that kill my dogs. I buried shadow and kibs infront our house . every time i go visit the house i just cry remembering my shadow . after a year i decided to get another Golden retriever and i name him “Simba” i get him when he was 2 months old and now he is 9 month old i love him so much. folks i love animals any king of animals but not snake . i made some mistakes but i regret it . Thank you so much for reading about my dog shadow. ( about wayne he passed away 2017 in my house due to a heart attack.)

PS; thank you so much for reading my blog , God bless you and your family

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